So my last post was all about not regretting your mistakes and to take control of your own happiness and for once, I've kinda listened to myself.
I can definitely say that I am currently the happiest I've been in a very very long time. I mean I'm stressed as hell with uni assignments and my big D proposal coming up next week, quite frankly I'm touching cloth just thinking about it now but anyway, despite this I am super duper happy. I finally feel like I'm in charge and full control of my happiness, choices and I very much do things for myself now rather than others. Please don't assume I've turned into a selfish arsehole, I haven't, I'm just doing the things I want to do...
I used to be a right tit and suffer with that "fear of missing out" crap so I would go out up town/to the pub/for meals when I couldn't afford it and even when I didn't want to go because I worried I'd be left out. If the uni lot were going to the pub on an hour break when I was in class I'd worry that I was missing out on something as big as the general election. How bloody stupid is that? If you're like that then I'm sorry and please listen to me, just stop it. I've learnt to juggle my time and divide it between friends, family, working two jobs, attending university as well as keeping on top of my work and at the minute, it's going well but, it's also flying by.
In bed this morning I realised that it was March next week - I finish my second year of university at the end of April, I'm twenty in June - T W E N T Y . I still feel 17 not in 2017. Now I don't hate many things, my main hate is stickers on cars (DJBJ can vouch for me, they're the worst) but I absolutely hate the thought of getting old and losing people. My little brother is sixteen next month, I tell everyone that he's 12 because in my head, he is, and that's because I refuse to accept that we're growing up. I'm like a female, not so young-looking, with only a few friends rather than a tribe of lost boys - Peter Pan. I mean, I know I'm getting older and a lot more maturer in the sense of the things I do, the way I behave etc. but I know that in 12 months time I'll be coming to the end of university and have to go out in the real world and get a real job.
Am I ready for that? Is Michael Jackson alive? No, not a chance.
But, I've decided that I'm just going to focus on the present. Get my head down, finish my second year of university, juggle my social life and not worry about things that won't matter to me in a years time.
Everything is changing. I'm changing, you're changing, we are all changing quicker than petrol prices and we just need to get on with it.
Happiness is key and if your idea of happiness is a Friday night watching a film and eating a Chinese then do it, or if you'd rather go down the pub, do it. Whatever it is that you do with your time/money/presence then make sure it's what you want to do because all that FOMO crap just makes you waste money and time that you don't have, trust me I've done it. I'm not saying turn into a hermit crab and don't go out or do things, just make sure you're putting yourself and your needs first, like you know I really need to go ice skating... Don't do things because you want to please others, they'll be happy if you're happy and if their not then...
So in summary:
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I can definitely say that I am currently the happiest I've been in a very very long time. I mean I'm stressed as hell with uni assignments and my big D proposal coming up next week, quite frankly I'm touching cloth just thinking about it now but anyway, despite this I am super duper happy. I finally feel like I'm in charge and full control of my happiness, choices and I very much do things for myself now rather than others. Please don't assume I've turned into a selfish arsehole, I haven't, I'm just doing the things I want to do...
I used to be a right tit and suffer with that "fear of missing out" crap so I would go out up town/to the pub/for meals when I couldn't afford it and even when I didn't want to go because I worried I'd be left out. If the uni lot were going to the pub on an hour break when I was in class I'd worry that I was missing out on something as big as the general election. How bloody stupid is that? If you're like that then I'm sorry and please listen to me, just stop it. I've learnt to juggle my time and divide it between friends, family, working two jobs, attending university as well as keeping on top of my work and at the minute, it's going well but, it's also flying by.
In bed this morning I realised that it was March next week - I finish my second year of university at the end of April, I'm twenty in June - T W E N T Y . I still feel 17 not in 2017. Now I don't hate many things, my main hate is stickers on cars (DJBJ can vouch for me, they're the worst) but I absolutely hate the thought of getting old and losing people. My little brother is sixteen next month, I tell everyone that he's 12 because in my head, he is, and that's because I refuse to accept that we're growing up. I'm like a female, not so young-looking, with only a few friends rather than a tribe of lost boys - Peter Pan. I mean, I know I'm getting older and a lot more maturer in the sense of the things I do, the way I behave etc. but I know that in 12 months time I'll be coming to the end of university and have to go out in the real world and get a real job.
Am I ready for that? Is Michael Jackson alive? No, not a chance.
But, I've decided that I'm just going to focus on the present. Get my head down, finish my second year of university, juggle my social life and not worry about things that won't matter to me in a years time.
Everything is changing. I'm changing, you're changing, we are all changing quicker than petrol prices and we just need to get on with it.
Happiness is key and if your idea of happiness is a Friday night watching a film and eating a Chinese then do it, or if you'd rather go down the pub, do it. Whatever it is that you do with your time/money/presence then make sure it's what you want to do because all that FOMO crap just makes you waste money and time that you don't have, trust me I've done it. I'm not saying turn into a hermit crab and don't go out or do things, just make sure you're putting yourself and your needs first, like you know I really need to go ice skating... Don't do things because you want to please others, they'll be happy if you're happy and if their not then...
So in summary:
- FOMO is BS.
- I'm not ready to grow up.
- Be selfish and do your thing.
- By the time I do another blog post I need to have gone ice skating.
Until next time,
Barry. x
