To the people who have made me feel worthless, vile and lonely - this is one for you.

To all the people who’ve made me feel worthless, vile and lonely...

I’d love to tell you I’m upset, but I’m not.

I’d love to tell you that I’m missing you, but I’m not.

I’d love to tell you that I am in need of your friendship, but I’m not.

I’d love to tell you that I feel miserable without you, but I don’t.

I’d love to tell you that I want you back in my life, but I don’t.

I’d love to tell you that I care for you, but I don’t.

I’d love to tell you that I miss you, but I won’t.

I’d love to tell you I’m there you for, but I won’t.

I’d love to tell you that we can fix this, but I won’t.

I’d love to be close with you again, but I can’t.

I’d love to pop round for a cuppa and a catch up, but I can’t.

I’d love to help you solve your problems when you need me, but I can’t. 

I can’t be there anymore for people who aren’t there for me. I won’t allow myself to be there for people who won’t be there for me. I don’t want you to be there for me. I’m not letting you get to me anymore. 

To those of you who have given me worth, love and support, whether we have been friends 10 years or 10 days, I just want to thank YOU for being so supportive, caring and compassionate. For having patience with me, whether we speak every day or every month, that doesn’t matter. Whether you’re a 10 minute drive away or a 10 hour round trip away. You’re there. You’re at the end of the phone or in my local pub - that doesn’t matter. 

Just because people are physically there next to you, that doesn’t mean that they’re “there” for you.

Until next time, 

Barry x