SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

Big happy hiiiiii from my gal Alaska (and from me)!! So last post was 7 weeks ago and I was saying how amazed I was with how far I've come since starting university. And since then I've gone even further!

If you don't know, I've bagged me a job! You're now looking at a Junior Graphic Designer! I know, I'm as shocked as you. But, this job is the job I've dreamed of for the last two years after realising design is where I wanna go but did I think I'd get me a full-time, paid job, as a Junior Graphic Designer a week after finishing uni? No I bloody well didn't. But somehow I've done it!

I'm currently doing part-time as I've got to work my notices at my other jobs but I already love it! It's a Monday morning, I'm in the office, waiting to start work, Shaggy 'It Wasn't Me' is on the radio and I've already got that Friday feeling!! It doesn't feel like a job? Because so far I'm loving it. Time flies when I'm at work and I've never had that feeling before.

Another thing giving me that Friday feeling is that Love Island is back tonight! AND I'm going on holiday in three weeks with my lovely George!!!!

So in summary, I'm still out here living my best life at the age of 20 whilst being in full time work! I hope your Monday is as happy as mine!

Until next time,

Barry x.

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If you’d of asked me 3 years ago where I’d be now, I’d never of said where I’ve ended up.

So this ones gonna be a soppy one, omg no way, really Mill?! But I’ve been sitting here for the last hour trying to get to sleep but what a shock, it isn’t happening. So here I am sitting in the dark watching 8 Out of 10 Cats whilst spamming my boyfriend with texts about how I don’t deserve him and that he’s the best person to bless this earth (which he is). Anyway, looking back at the Mill from three years ago: I was in my final year at college, getting ready for my exams and had my heart set on not going to university. I was gonna work full time at my old pub and work myself up to management. I was too young to go out but still used my mates ID which said I was 24 (some how it worked) and I looked like a chubby butch woman. I very much had no control of my life and had no goals, dreams or desires.

Now, three years on, I’m 31 days away from submitting my final university assignment and on the way to getting me a degree?? I’m a stone lighter and 90% satisfied with my appearance. I’m 10 weeks away from my 21st Birthday/first holiday with my partner in crime. If you’d of told 17 year old Mill that in three years time she’d be getting a degree and planning to move out with an absolute dream of a geeza I’d of probably laughed in your face and told you where to stick it.

Back then I used to have such a low self-esteem and fully believed I was gonna live a life like Bridget Jones, don’t get me wrong - there’s still time for it to all go in that direction - but I never thought I’d be as happy as I am now. In the last three years I’ve changed so much, physically and mentally and I just can’t wait to see what the next three years hold.

I am so lucky to have such an amazing family, boyfriend and friends around me, keeping my head above the water - I’ve just got 1 last push left to get my university work submitted to the best possible standard AND get the job I deserve after I qualify. I mean, it’s possible - I think???

Here you go Mill, look back at this on April 17th 2021 and hopefully you’ll be in an EVEN BETTER place than you are now! You got this hunti x

Until next time, Barry x 

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Let’s address the elephant in the room...

It’s 2018. Gay marriage is legal in 26 countries. Women are getting more and more equal rights. In the UK last year we finally had more first time buyers in the first time since 2006. Apart from Donald Trump and a couple of other idiotic world leaders, we seem to be on the right track yet I find that being a young adult is harder than ever.

The main problem that I see is that nowadays everybody is jealous of each other. Not in the sense of money/babies/buying houses, in the sense of what we compare ourselves to on social media. On social media we see girls who are a Size 4 on top but have the batty of a queen. Or we see people who are younger than us buying their first houses and feel like we aren’t “successful”. Someone in your class gets a better mark than you so you feel like a failure. We care too much about what other people are doing/achieving rather than how successful we are as individuals.

We need to stop comparing our lives to everyone else’s. Just because someone has a better car than you, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed, just because your mates got a good relationship, it doesn’t mean that they’re superior to you. 

We need to stop comparing ourselves to each other and SUPPORT each other. If you see someone on your feed whose got a mint job/a promotion at work - TELL THEM WELL DONE. ENJOY THEIR POSITIVITY AND HAPPINESS. If you see a happy couple on Insta, appreciate that someone has found their better half!! If someone’s shifted a stone and they look BEAUTIFUL, TELL THEM!! 

But despite this, CELEBRATE YOURSELF! If you’re happy in your bod, FLAUNT IT, if your mom’s a queen, TELL PEOPLE, if you’re in love with your partner and want to tell the world, DO IT!! 

If you’re worried about people “moaning” about your posts on social media - DELETE THEM. If you worry people are prying on your posts, DELETE THEM! 

The quote I go by, and always will is: “if something making you happy, GET RID”

And on that note, I’ve addressed the elephant in my room. 

I’m doing well at uni, I’ve got the love of my life by my side and mine/his wonderful family and friends supporting me ALL THE WAY. 

Bin the negativity and I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better. Because I deleted over 600 people off my Facebook today and I’ve never felt more relieved. Either support me, or get out. 

All the love, 

Until next time, Barry. 

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To the people who have made me feel worthless, vile and lonely - this is one for you.

To all the people who’ve made me feel worthless, vile and lonely...

I’d love to tell you I’m upset, but I’m not.

I’d love to tell you that I’m missing you, but I’m not.

I’d love to tell you that I am in need of your friendship, but I’m not.

I’d love to tell you that I feel miserable without you, but I don’t.

I’d love to tell you that I want you back in my life, but I don’t.

I’d love to tell you that I care for you, but I don’t.

I’d love to tell you that I miss you, but I won’t.

I’d love to tell you I’m there you for, but I won’t.

I’d love to tell you that we can fix this, but I won’t.

I’d love to be close with you again, but I can’t.

I’d love to pop round for a cuppa and a catch up, but I can’t.

I’d love to help you solve your problems when you need me, but I can’t. 

I can’t be there anymore for people who aren’t there for me. I won’t allow myself to be there for people who won’t be there for me. I don’t want you to be there for me. I’m not letting you get to me anymore. 

To those of you who have given me worth, love and support, whether we have been friends 10 years or 10 days, I just want to thank YOU for being so supportive, caring and compassionate. For having patience with me, whether we speak every day or every month, that doesn’t matter. Whether you’re a 10 minute drive away or a 10 hour round trip away. You’re there. You’re at the end of the phone or in my local pub - that doesn’t matter. 

Just because people are physically there next to you, that doesn’t mean that they’re “there” for you.

Until next time, 

Barry x

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