What's the plan, Stan?

When we're growing up our parents tell us all the same thing (mine did anyway), you go to school/college/uni, get your qualifications, get a job, find a partner, get married, have kids and watch them grow whilst you wait to die. That is what all the films, society and peers tell us to do, but it isn't as black and white as that is it. I mean look at the film 'Gone Girl' (SPOILER ALERT) you're watching it thinking, oh fart Batman has gone and killed his wife and is trying to cover it but it turns out she's a bloody nutter whose trying to frame her husband for her murder cos he cheated on her. Not that that's ever happened to me but I swear it's relevant. What I'm trying to say is that we never know what's round the corner but the issue with society today is that we expect to be able to control every single aspect of our lives and if we don't manage to do this then we've failed, NO. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. 

We're only human. We can't control what happens. Even the weatherman can't get the weather right because we're only human, it's okay to make mistakes. I've made many many many mistakes but do I regret them? Not a single bit. Because that's what shapes us as a person, our decisions we make, our outlook on life etc. But even though I've made many mistakes, a lot of unexpected positives/spontaneous decisions have been the best moments in my life. For example:

• Got my A-Level results, realised "oh christ, I've actually passed my A-Levels, maybe I should do something with this rather than work full time in a pub." Ended up on a Media & Communications degree at BCU, best decision of my life. Met the best people in the world & I'm some how on the way to getting a 2:1 in my degree. I literally opened my exam results, rang BCU and 5 minutes later I was going to uni. (Mom and Dad were v v v surprised/scared but here we are a year and a half later.)
• Grampy died. Yes I'm mentioning this again, sorry not even sorry. This was the only death in the family that I've ever experienced and definitely one of the worst. However, it's made me realise how important family are and how grateful we need to be to have those we love around us. I didn't expect it, none of us did but it's definitely made me realise that we do need to live every day like it's our last. 
• Resigning from my old job. Wasn't really my choice but hey ho. I thought that job was the best job of my life, I was going to work there full time, I'd planned it all. However, the tide changed and I was a state, didn't have a job, no money - it genuinely was sh*te but now I'm in two jobs that I love. With the best colleagues that are like families I never had. Good pay, positive work environment, I've got to know regulars etc. and it's grand but I genuinely thought at the time that I was going to be on the dole for the rest of my life - which is not the life for me. 
• Meeting George. (Here's when I get bent so sorry). Never ever ever did I see myself with anyone. Purely because I don't rate myself in the slightest, I'm gobby, selfish, self-centred and a pretty crap human-being but somehow I've found someone who will tolerate me (don't know how or why but here we are). I am not the kinda person that invests myself in people purely because they always end up either

1. Doing me over.
2. Getting bored of me.
3. I get bored of them.

• Not that I'm high-maintaince or anything cos I really ain't but I get scared of getting attached because they always end up leaving but somehow I got lucky and met one of the best human-beings I've ever met who listens to my waffle & is super supportive of everything I've done/do and I genuinely couldn't be anymore grateful. But, it literally came from nowhere. We met one night and it's all gone up from there which is not what I expected at all, but I'm certainly not complaining.

I suppose the whole point of this is me trying to say, don't let the bad days get you down. Whether you've been sacked from your job, failed a uni module (GG), fell out with a friend etc. because, I know it's a cliché but, everything happens for a reason, it's all about how you pick yourself and get back on that shetland pony.
Even though we'd like to, we can't plan everything in our lives, we can't control the weather, global warming or how we'll leave the earth but what we can do is control our happiness, our decisions, who we spend time with, the music we listen to, what we spend money on etc. So as long as you're happy in the moment (and it's not illegal) then bloody do it.
Take a leaf out of my Grampy's book and be happy and live every day like it's you're last, because for all we know, it might be.

Happiness is a man-made thing so make your own.

All the love, until next time,

Barry x

0

2017//Smile you filthy animals.

Another door closes, another one opens, blah blah blah. "New year, new me!!!" all that crap can just get in the bin. I don't see why on January 1st people set themselves stupid, unachievable goals that are just going to put a grey cloud over their day if they don't manage to achieve it. I say this yet look at my last post, oops I'm a hypocrite.
Anyway, what I've decided to do is to make a little happy, go-to post for myself/others for when they're down to pick themselves back up. So if you're upset because you've argued with bae or you had a bad day at work then remember these little things.

1. Look around you. 
Last year I made more mistakes that a drunken 18 year old in Magaluf, I was an absolute state but somehow I've still got a strong group of friends & family around me to help keep me grounded and support me. If they really love you they'll stand by you through everything (unless you murder someone but c'mon you can't expect them to back you if they know you're a murderer) and if they don't, well, you know they weren't really your friends. It's all about "leave no man behind".

2. 'Will it matter in 6 months time?'
Now this policy is something I apply to almost every single problem I get myself into as we are the most spoilt, third-world problem filled generation to ever walk the earth, meaning that we are infamous for blowing everything out of proportion. For example when Kim K lost her earring:
The girl acted like she'd lost her limb but, do you think she still cries about this diamond earring? Probably not no, because it doesn't matter. So if you're sitting here after being at work and someone's spoke to you like dirt just remember, in 6 days, 6 months, 6 years etc. it really won't matter. If you 'only got a 2:1' on an assignment then don't beat yourself up, let this motivate you to improve on the next one. The cup is always half full, not half empty.

3. The grass will be green if you water it.
Everyone's heard the saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side' but it really isn't, it's green if you water it. What I mean by this is that if you wake up and your initial thought is 'today is gonna be a bad day' then odd's are, it will be. It's a placebo effect. If you're waiting for something to go wrong then you will find fault in everything. If you wake up and tell yourself that you're gonna have a good day, 90% of the time, you do. And that is due to the positive outlook you have from the start of the day. Obviously you can't apply this to everything but just give it a go, I promise you, you'll feel better.

4. A cup of tea and a cuddle are the best healers.
I've lost count of how many times I've come home hysterical over stupid things (things that I can't even remember because point 2...) but once I've sat down and had a cup of tea and a rant with my Mom/Dids/WW etc. I'm fine. I'm a stickler for winding myself up because if something irritates/upsets me I keep thinking about it - stop. Have a cuppa, have a rant, put it in a box and burn it - it really won't matter in 6 months time, just like the little thing you're thinking about now as you read this - PUT IT IN THE BIN.

5. Your happiness is the most important.
Being the way I am, and the way I've been raised, I will always put other people before myself and looking back, I need to stop doing it as much. This sounds super bad but some people will abuse your selflessness if they know they can. Start doing the things you want to do and I promise you, you'll feel 10000x better for it. I mean don't get me wrong, don't turn into a selfish arsehole but if you don't wanna do something/do wanna do something (as long as it isn't murder) then...
If you don't wanna do something but do it just to please people then you won't enjoy it (kinda relates to point 3) so don't waste your time.

Now these 5 things aren't massive, unrealistic things to remember, they're simple (like me lol) and they might seem too simple but I can promise you now. I'm in the best place I have been for a long, long time. Last year was full of peaks and troughs, I wasted time with the wrong people which made me super ill and unhappy, looking back I was a nail to be fair. But, once I removed the negativity and the arseholes everything gradually improved. Some people wait to see you fail and they're waiting to take your place/happiness - remove them and remember these 5 little things and tell me in a month that you aren't 10x happier.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New Year, I certainly did. And I also hope you enjoyed this well over-due blogpost - big up Popsi and Momma Juels for demanding a new one.

Until next time,

Barry x.

0